“Push, madam, push” the midwives screamed to me, I was doing all I could, my husband was right beside me, saying sweet things to me but I could barely hear it, I was very weak.

“The head of the baby is out now, pull the child nurse Lovett” I heard someone say

Whew!!!  My baby was finally out.

 Tears filled my eyes as I went down memory lane, I have had two abortions while I was in the university, the first one was a success with no complications but the second one posed a lot of troubles and in the end all the doctors I saw told me that though I might be able to get pregnant but I would not be able to carry it for the complete term, though devastated and thought it was the end, my boyfriend whom I had aborted for dumped me like a piece of rag after hearing what the doctors said. Few years later, I met the man of my dreams who married me despite all my complications. I had gotten pregnant seven times in our marriage of four years, three of the pregnancies got miscarried before the first trimester while the other three barely made it to one month, I had given up on having children when this pregnancy came along and here I was in the labour room trying to bring my first child to life.

  The last thing I remember was my husband rubbing my back, I slowly woke up and took in my surroundings, I was still in the hospital and the nurse with me hurriedly stood up to get the doctor and I noticed my husband had tears in his eyes when he came in with the doctor, before I got the chance to ask what was wrong, he was already by my side and he said those same words that broke me every time we lost a pregnancy

“Babe, we would try again” he said wincing and sniffing 

“madam, am so sorry but it was a stillbirth, you and your husband can still try again, your chances are very high this time” the doctor said with sympathy in his eyes and all I could do was stare into space, it was like they poured ice on me, the pain was too much to cry. There was no strength available to hold on too, even my husband was devastated. 

©Promise Adebayo