I was home all Saturday, despite the type of person I was. I loved going to parties and organising them but today I decided to leave my nose in a book. It was around about 9pm when George, my boyfriend called and said he was coming over to spend the night with me, I was glad and immediately stood up to fix a light dinner, and being the romantic person I was, I included flowers, candles and even myself in sexy lingerie to the menu and waited patiently for him. 

I was about to sit back and return to my book when the door rang, I skipped excitedly to the door, but George wasn’t alone, he had two of his friends with him, I smiled and welcomed them all like a good host, thank goodness my jacket was not far from the door, I quickly slipped it on and ignored George as he locked the door. I walked with them to the living room then I excused myself to fix drinks for all of us since the dinner I made wouldn’t be enough for us all and then all of a sudden they began to talk in hushed tones, I shook my head and waved it off as normal boys talk until George said “guys am going to head out now, it’s bad enough that I lost the bet but I can’t sit and watch you screw my girlfriend, I have to go” I felt like they were cracking an expensive joke, it couldn’t be true, George had more sense in him than use me as the prize for a bet, my bubbles were bursted the moment one of his friends replied and said “the main fun in this deal is for you to watch me screw your girlfriend, did you forget in a hurry how I lost the other bet and I watched you screw Natalie, my fiancée? Guy you have to sit and watch me make your babe scream my name in ecstasy” and they all laughed and I was transfixed where I was, in my head I had told them no and sent them out of my house, but in reality my boyfriend had retired to the couch and his friends were “getting ready”. I wanted to leave through the back door but the key was in the living room, I gathered all the courage I had and I carried the tray of drinks out. 

I carefully dropped the tray of drinks on the table and handed them all the drinks and walked towards the shelf where the backdoor key was, I was about slipping it into my jacket when it fell with a loud thud, I shook in fear and one of his friends I recognised as James stood up and pushed me hard unto the floor before he said “this bitch is trying to escape” and he looked straight into my eyes, he was still smelling of alcohol and he said “you are the prize of my bet, and am going to take every inch of you” then he looked at George and said “it won’t work George, I have waited a long time for this and you can’t just tell her to escape” George looked at him with disdain and looked away, I tried fighting him back and when it seemed like he wasn’t even moving, I looked up to George  with my eyes screaming for him to help me, but he simply looked away. His other friend came closer and yanked the jacket off me before remarking “you little slut and tease, she’s looking so sweet for us and then she tries to leave, don’t worry, when am done with you, you’d wish you were mine” and with that he started shredding my lingerie, I looked over to George for the last time, his face was winced, but he didn’t try to stop them, he looked at me apologetically and turned away.

I shut my eyes as tight as I could, there was nothing else I could have done, I couldn’t scream, the generator from the house is loud enough to swallow all of our voices combined, and then I felt rough hands exploring my body, then it hit me, I was being raped, it was rough and painful, I mean I wasn’t even ready, and all I did was cry and then it stopped, and when I thought it was over, I felt a different body on me, this one was rough and the most painful sexual experience I have ever had, he was going in really fast despite my dryness, I was screaming and sobbing, I opened my eyes and George was seated on the couch watching everything, I felt betrayed, I was no longer feeling the pain from the rape I was feeling a different kind of unexplainable pain from within.

It was over, they picked up their jeans, dressed up and each of them kissed me on the forehead and walked out of the house. I was crying, I was in pains and George came over and whispered “sweetheart, am sorry you had to experience that, I tried to stop them but they just wouldn’t bulge, I wish this never happened honey” then he bent down to wipe my tears and tossed birth control pills to me and there I was comforting myself until he dropped the bombshell “ babe I don’t think we can still be together, I can’t live and pretend I did not see what just happened, I really wish you a better life” with that he turned to leave the house, I was shocked, I screamed and tugged at his feet, he couldn’t leave me helpless like this, this was not what he promised me, it felt like I wasn’t hearing right, I kept screaming “this whole bullshit was your fault” but by the time I was saying it the fourth time, he had left and I was all alone.

 I could not tell a soul, I am a Nigerian, a country where being raped was your fault, and besides I don’t want to live the rest of my life thinking everybody knows. I braced up myself, stood up, swallowed the pills he gave me, went to my bathroom and I scrubbed my body carefully, mentally wishing the memories of the last hour were scrubbed away. I have to live with this for the rest of my life, but I consoled myself that this rape issue would only become a stigma if I let it out of me and I swore never to tell a soul about it.

#womendeservebetterlives #saynotorape #rapeaintnojoke #onlyconsensualsex

©promise Adebayo