I guess I drowned the whole pills. I am totally lost, I can't even remember the numbers of pills I took. I could fell the darkness coming close on me. I could feel it gulping me up in its ugly throat. I heard my mama's cry. -Oh my mama. How much she had warned me.- Then the ambulance's siren, piercing the cold night came to a stop. It Crashed!!! Did  my brain just crashed?  I couldn't think. Then I followed the darkness, like a sheep led to its saluter.

 Two months back

He was part of the few that went in search of a greener pasture. He came back after a long Pilgrim and I was so happy to see him. He came back with a lot of money. Infact he drools allover with money. He was the type who had girls fluttering around him, but he choose me. He is my long lost love mike. He was the skinny guy, mama warned me about. 

I have finally hit the jack pot of my life. I was practically living in money, I couldn't wish for more because he showered me with money. I became the envy of all girl. Mazi okoro can go to hell. I won't be married of to the wretched old man. Mike paid the dept.

 Am goddess and gods pay homage. We had fun, we made love, we had it all. But mamas voice wont be silenced.

Then the morning fever and unexpected vomit came sticking like a drone that had spotted an enemy's base camp. No way, he used protections and am faithful to the pills. I guess am due for a check up.

I walked up to a clinic the next day and I ran some test. I revisited for reports and it was the doctor looking me in the face. 

"Well madam we have a good news and a bad news". Bad news ke! Tofiakowa! "Congratulations ma you are three weeks pregnant and....." The doctor paused with lips twisted into a solid frown. "HIV positive, you need to register and......" He continued. 

"Pregnant what! HIV positive!, wait Doctor, I have to go to school, I want to become a nurse, I can't be pregnant!. Aahhhhhh!!!." I began to rant. 

"easy madam" She began to suit me. 

 I didnt bargain for this. But here was my life crashing at my feet. I just wanted to flunt in money and leave to start a new life. For goodness I was just 18 and I needed to go to school.

I got home and I faced Mike.  

"Mik!!! Am HIV positive and three weeks gone."

 "how could you be? I use protections and I take my drugs." He replied in disbelief. 

"what drug!" I blotted with an infinite rage in my eyes. Then I began to fix the broken puzzle and I knew what the whole relationship had been. 

"So u knew you had aids and u went ahead to infect me?" Was all i could scream. 

" But i use protectives." Was all he kept saying 

"aaarrggg! Protective my foot! Mike? Am doomed!" I cried. I felt like strangling him, but how can I kill a dying man?

Now it all dawned on me, reasons why he took those expensive drugs everyday. Why he looks so skinny despite his exravagant lifestyle. So he came home to die? 

Well now i will die with him. But mama was going to forgive me.

©Rebecca Akomolafe