E’D Extremely dangerous.


Just right behind a bottle of champagne, I was seated; smoking higher than a burning chimney. I got up quickly and I tapped my finger. The positioned waiters knew what I wanted done. 

I returned from the rest room looking fresh with no stench of smoke getting off me. 

Just like I had planned. She came in a bit disguised just for the world to be less assured that she was the same lady they do see on T.V. I picked the venue. I promised her that it would be save. She trusted me. 

I got close to her and I touched her shoulder. She smiled looking up at me, and then we went over to seat. I cracked few jokes and she laughed. She was happy she had a break from work and the old man who she believed had his own numerous girlfriends. 

We went in on few drinks and I ended it felling it was getting much. We had a little holding of hands, a little eye contact, and a little explosion of emotions. She confessed, she had never had a white boy friend as sweet as I was and we ended it all on the fact that I was used to Nigerians. She wanted more than holding of hands so I offered we took a walk. Right outside in the depth of the cold breeze. No one was watching. It was a perfect moment to express love. She went for my lips and I pulled her closer with my hands supporting her back. It came through in a moment and her blood was all over my face. It was like an arrow had been shut through my hands. I was sure it was a bullet. Her hands let go off me and she fell aside. I screamed in agony seeing her blood spilled all over my face. I looked up and I sighted a sniper far off on a 9 story building. The first thing I had to do was to see if she could be saved. I called an ambulance. I guess I just wanted to be save. 

This is why I wanted to be save?

I am not who you think I am. What else do you expect from a tall handsome Nigerian? I have lived for over 15 years now in Nigeria. But for real, I am an American. 

I once worked with the NPF (Nigeria police force) and I got sacked 3 years later for letting a set of robbers escape. It wasn’t my fault. What they promised to pay was two times bigger than my five months salary if bounded together. I had this wild taste for money.

I got wide by name amidst the mafias after few killings. No one knew who I was. Not really. Only those who had so many enemies remembered the name E’D. That’s my name.

Take a look out of my window. Over there… not there… I mean right there in the garage. Yeah… That blue Ferrari. I got it last month when I helped assassinate the governor of a state in the west. He was looting so much funds and he was acting too deaf. That is nothing. I have a nine bedroom duplex in lekki, a chopper. NOOOOO… I didn’t buy that. It was a gift when I killed five top government officials in a plane crash. You don’t have to know how I did that. 

How I look? That is not necessary. Because of what I do. I look different every darn day. Today, I might be tanned skin, tomorrow I might have a chunky moustache and next tomorrow my hair develops a pun tail.

Now let’s move over to the most exciting moment of my career. How I got the senate president wife killed. I just told you that. 

Yeah I killed her. But I didn’t. 

The president knew he desperately wanted the senate president out of place. He was just too corrupt and one way he could do that was not talking to him. No!! That never works. It won’t. Neither will he have him killed. But he wanted to strike his money source. His wife Stella became the target. She funded him. Don’t ask me how. The president never told me that. 

Stella needed to be killed. Someone extremely dangerously needed to work on it. There I came up. Since she do have like 30,000 choppers hovering above whenever she moved in a street.

-That was an exaggeration- But she does have all her grounds secured, so killing her might be harder than cracking a coconut with the teeth. We needed to get into her privacy. She needed a new boy friend that would lure her to where she should want no one to know about. The press? NO! Her husband? NO! I said no one. 

There E’D came in. She would thirst to have a night with me. So I came in like a wealthy man who needed a contract and knowing her lost for men. I came in prepared. Now you are asking why  can’t another man be used. I thought I told you. Oh! You forgot. Only a cute man who is extremely dangerous can do this. Only E’D can.

I sat behind the bars of one of the local hotels in mainland when I heard my new girl, 10 years older than I am had just arrived. She came in a cab. A private cab too be précised no one knew she was Stella. No one knew a Stella was here. I was wise enough to get men around and I was told when she arrived. 

I already had the whole bar bought so everyone in there was set on my will. And he man who held the sniper. I also had him set. She died. And I got away with it. I called the police. I called an ambulance. No one knew she was down town. No one knew I was one of her secret lovers. No one knew E’D had her killed except the man who sent me. No one knew Stella was dead until the night passed.  

©Godwin Okhuoya