The word "compos animi" is the Latin name for self-control.

    I ponder over this question over and over again. Can I say I have self-control or can you say you have the ability to control yourself? I don't need your answer just think about it.

  Every virtue comes with its own accompanying dark side: Honesty with brutality, courage with recklessness and self-control with rigidity. It is said that people who seek therapy do it either because they need control their impulsive behaviour or because they need loosen their rigidness. Both impulsiveness and compulsiveness are often just two sides of the same coin.


    What do you think separates you from that hen you feed daily? It is self-control and nothing more. The ability to exert self-control is typically called willpower. This is what allows you to direct your attention, and it underlies all kinds of achievement.



   Self-control is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts and behaviour in the face of temptation and impulses. Emotion is powerful. Most youth today are emotionally deficient. They allow their emotions to control them. "He broke my heart", Statements like this when I hear such, make me wonder if such a heart is fragile. Our illusion of self-control actually promotes habitual behaviour. 

  If you don't have a pen and a book, you need to get one.  Stay tuned  as I give 4 easy ways to increase your self-control.

1. Look at the big picture.

Study shows that abstract and global or high level thinking promotes self-control success. Why the frown? Ok!! Yes, you have to think. Don't think unnecessarily, think necessarily. People are more likely to exercise self-control  when they see the proverbial forest beyond the trees and when they don't get bogged down by specific minutiae. Look at the big picture. Remind yourself and others to promote self-control by preventing discouragement.

2. Know who you are.

 Emotional self-control, or impulse control, are cornerstones of emotional intelligence. Know yourself so you can manage your emotions and impulses. How many times have you said " I love you" to different ladies? Be sincere. Give yourself that self-control. Can you exercise patience in annoying situations? Do you find it hard to stop talking? Are you able to stay composed and positive under stressful circumstances? Fix your name to the above questions and begin to ask yourself. I believe virtually all will be guilty of this.


   The ability to keep disruptive emotions and impulses in check is the mark of a seasoned leader. Say to yourself "I really need to know who I am".

3. Avoid decision fatigue.

 Self-control has important implications in the quality of our decisions. Note that after people have made a number of decisions, no matter how small, they've used up their willpower, and their self-control is compromised. Decision fatigue has a negative impact on our decisions. Put some aspects of your life on default unnecessary decisions. Steve Jobs, for example, always dressed in 501 jeans and black turtlenecks. Barack Obama wears only blue or grey suits. "I'm trying to pare down decisions" he said. "I don't want to make decisions about what I'm eating or wearing because I have a lot of decisions to make". You need to routinize yourself in thoS3 mundane aspects to avoid decision fatigue.

I believe you've learned a lot. The last point might be funny but it will help you a lot.

4. Get digital self-control support.

 There are lot of apps that help you exercise self-control. Apps like,, and Visit. No knowledge is a waste.


     Remember, self-control is choosing to do what is right when you feel like doing wrong. Self-control needs these five characteristics; balance, confidence, calmness, determination and willpower. Lack of self-control kills true potential.


       Control that self ( human/ thing) that is disturbing your self-control.

 ©Adedeji Michael